D’oh!

D’oh!

I was being a good little steward with my money, keeping my check book balanced, then I got lazy. I stopped putting my earnings in the bank and it was back to the big white envelope. Yesterday I got a Bank of America alert on my iPhone… I was overdrafted! Over two months of living like an adult and I blew it. I felt shame. I was doing so well that I forgot to keep up with the actions that made it that way. The overdraft amount: -$197. Wow!

So now it’s back to the basics. Day one of my awesome new Journey again. An old timer once told me that “Square One Sucks!” But it doesn’t have to suck for long… right?

It’s 5am Vegas time and I’ve had a good nights sleep. Lots to get done today including all of my laundry, cleaning the kitchen, the gym, work on my friend’s website, grocery shopping, my day job (which starts at 3pm) and hopefully an appointment tonight. I deposited all my money in the bank and have a decent balance to start with. I have to penny pinch because of some big events coming in June including a bachelor party for one of my friends from High School where I said I would pay for a table at ‘Sapphire’ for 5 people and a trip to Florida lined up in July. I also want to get back to Ohio for a few weeks sometime this summer, that will be expensive too.

So now its time to get to work. Lets see how well this day goes.

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My Purpose

My Purpose

Today I got a chance to watch the NCAA Championship game with a guy new to the business and I found myself in a position I’ve never been in before. We were at his place and he asked me for some advice. I have no problem giving advice to new guys, but what I found different about this time was that I no longer had anyone to go to for advice.

When I started a few years back I was the new Cute Guy. I was so lost and no idea how to manage in this business. I would make a large chunk of money in one night and by the time I got home the money was gone. I needed guidance and before long I met some older Guys who could help me: Greg, Tyler, Casey, Aaron and Chris. They were Role Models and anytime I needed help, or most importantly just someone to be with in this business of loneliness, I could rely on them to always be there. They were like my big brothers who were always looking out for me. Now they are all gone. They have moved on to bigger things (and they knew they hit the age limit and weren’t going to work for less money).  I actually miss Aaron the most because he was my best friend in this business.

During my meditation today I focused on the time I spent with the new guy today and a feeling and Vision came into my head accompanied with a popping noise. The vision was of me walking down the hall of my High School during the last week of Classes my Senior Year. The feeling was warm and I felt so accomplished and confident. It occurred to me with that vision that it is time to graduate. I don’t want to be in this business to the bitter end of despair. Its time to leave while I still Love it.

I have to be the Role Model now as well. I was always the kid who needed guidance, but now the tables have turned, I have to be the person with their shit together and live my life as an example for others to follow. The thought of that gives me the same feeling I had walking down the hallway my Senior Year; and what a feeling it is.

More Deets to Follow, but for now know this: My Purpose is to be the Role Model.

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Amazing What you can Find

Amazing What you can Find

As part of my New Start, #8 on the Energy Blocker List was to go through my old hard drive and Pull Out the files that I need. It was like opening up a time capsule and what a bunch of cool stuff I have. Imagine it’s 2002 and your friend built you a Mega Computer for school. You got this new thing called ‘Cable Internet’ that is 500 times faster than anything else out there and you are a bit devious by nature. Needless to say… there was a lot of porn on that hard drive. Lots and lots of really good porn.

But I want to focus on the music I had. I collect all kinds of interesting music; lots of unique songs and dances, and multiple variations of the songs and dances. One of my favorite Pieces of music is “The Peanut Vendor.” The piece became popular during the  mid 1950’s ‘Mambo’ music movement that was introduced by Desi Arnez (I love Lucy). I have over 40 renditions of “the Peanut Vendor” and one stands out as my Super Favorite! I totally forgot about it until I found the copy on the old hard drive. I used to BLAST this song every morning when I would get ready for school, dancing and bopping around. My friends would get in on the action, too, and before long this song was being played all through our Fraternity House.

Here is a copy of the Greatest ” The Peanut Vendor” Recording ever. Don’t be afraid to crank up the volume:

Harry James, Benny Goodman & Stan Kenton – The Peanut Vendor

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So What Now?

So What Now?

First I’d like to give a huge shout-out to the USA Men’s Hockey Team. That last second 3rd period goal got my heart racing like I haven’t felt since Ohio State winning the Rose Bowl. Sure, we ended up losing in Overtime, but those 10 between goals was the most excited I’ve been in a long time.

So now that my disastrous month is finally over (Good Riddance) and shitty canceling clients have cataloged into the bad news database, I want to tell you what my main goal is for the month of March. I thought long and hard about it. There are so many things I need to get done, so many things I want to do and have to do, but it struck me this afternoon exactly what my goal should be.

The Goal is this: Have No Goal and Enjoy Myself. I haven’t had this goal in a long time and the last time I made this my goal not only did I reach it, but so many good things happened for me. Why not make that happen again.

Here is the way I see it. In the Fool’s Journey there is a cycle everyone goes through when venturing through life. This cycle repeats itself constantly and at every stage in your journey a new challenge rises to greet you. There are 22 different challenges. If you ever got a Tarot Card reading, the numbered cards represent the fool’s journey; books like Red Wall and the Lord of the Rings are based on the Fool’s Journey as well.

During the final leg of the journey, one of the challenges is called the ‘Tower. On tarot cards the Tower is represented by a lightning bolt blasting the top of the tower with you falling… no… crashing to the ground. It represents an unforeseen catastrophe that knocks you off your pedestal.

Then the next challenge (card ) is the ‘Star.’ The Star is represented by a person, naked, at a stream washing themselves of all the dust and rubble from their fall. In the water they see their reflection and begin to realize that there was no ending because of their plunge from the Tower, but a new beginning and a new freedom, a freedom this person never had while locked in their Tower. This person decides to go forth with their new found inspiration, but there is a problem… It’s still dark. Illuminating the path before them is the next challenge (card): The Moon.

The moon lights only half of a winding path surrounded by dangers and other people’s Towers. The path leads to the mountains where there is only darkness. Your creative Imagination gets coupled with your darkest fears as you traverse this moon light path and you become bewildered and afraid. You want to stop and call out for ‘Mommy!’ But if you keep moving forward something that always happens will happen and that’s the next challenge (card): The Sun.

The Sun rises and illuminates all of the hidden places. It provides clarity to the areas where the Moon provided confusion and fear. You begin to feel and understand all the good this world has to offer you. You are given a new Zest for life after being struck down by lightning, left in the dark with your fears and forced to trudge path you cannot see. Greatness finds you as you ride through life with new hope and optimism. You’ve traveled so far, learned so much and overcame debilitating obstacles. You can’t help but shine like the sun.

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Gratitude

Gratitude

This was a disastrous month and I was going to use this blog entry to cry and complain about how crappy it was. Where is complaining going to get me? So here are the good things.

First, despite all the cancelations, I did have some good clients and thanks to them I am able to pay my bills and put a few bucks away for savings. Second, I am much more organized now financially. I have all my bank accounts in order and haven’t had an overdraft since I began my new financial plan. Third, I’m the hottest I’ve ever been. Thanks to my client from last Thursday who wanted to help me out with a new video then canceled at the last second, I put in so much time at the gym that my body is amazing. I haven’t looked this good since college. I love it.

Finally, I feel better about my future. Before my mid-month debacle I was smashing my way to my goal, but now I am sailing towards it. It’s going to take longer than I expected, but at least I know I can make it.

February of 2010 will go down as the biggest blunder in my Vegas career, but like I’ve heard said time and time again: It Gets worse before it gets better. Man am I excited to see March roll around.

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Fixing my Cosmic Balance

Fixing my Cosmic Balance

For some reason this has been a very troubling month in regards to client cancellations. Actually, even my friends are canceling on me. This afternoon I was supposed to do a job with a friend, then my friend canceled. I scrambled to find another partner, then the client canceled. And the client canceled specifically because he wanted to be mean and hurt my feelings; and it did hurt my feelings. I was totally about to cry. 5 times this month clients have canceled on me at the last second. This has never happened before.

I remember talking to my friend Tyler a while back during one of these ‘Bad Months.’ He said that sometimes you get months that are incredibly amazing and sometimes you get months that are a complete disaster. Well, this month has been a complete disaster. And the madder I get at the clients who make you free up your schedule, seek out other parties for them, require you to email and call them on a constant basis then pull the rug in an abrupt manner from under you; the more I realize that the anger isn’t helping.

I feel like the cosmos is punishing me for something I once did. Time to figure what I need to fix in my spiritual make-up so I can get back to life as usual.

I choose to be the winner that I know I am.

2 hours no Technology starts now. I’m going for a run at Sunset Park. Who wants to join me?

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Top Ten List

Top Ten List

Cheryl Richardson: “If you remove energy drains, you make room for what you really want.”

What are the top ten things draining my energy. What do I need to get done, but keep putting off, and the more I thing about them, the more I do nothing about it.

If I want a burst of energy, I have to attack the things that I keep putting off. These things are like weights that hold me down and make me sluggish. If I remove these things, my zest for life will sky-rocket! I believe that too. When I owed nothing, was responsible for nothing, had nothing to fix; everything I made was mine to keep and anything I wanted to do was mine to get done. It seemed like my dreams came to fruition more often during those days. So I’m pretty excited about this list.

Here it is:

  1. Fix Coolant Thingy on my truck
  2. Pay Off Banks I owe money to (only like $500)
  3. Pay Off Credit Cards (only $1200)
  4. Clean My Room
  5. De Clutter My Bathroom
  6. Contact New Agencies for work
  7. Set Up Online Automatic Bill Pay
  8. Go through My old Hard Drive and Pull Out all the Files I need
  9. Check to see if My Incorporation Papers are still valid in Ohio
  10. Research Marketing Events for my Magazine
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Time

Time

Cheryl Richardson: “A high quality life has more to do with what you remove from your life then what you add to it”

What that means is: If you want to get more done with your life, don’t keep adding things to do, but rather focus on a few things to do and discard the rest.

The problem with me, though, is that I have too much free time on my hands with not enough to do with it. So I honed in on something important she mentioned about Time Wasters. Time wasters are things that create over-stimulation and keep you from focusing on what’s important. Obviously, the biggest time waster for me is Technology, like my computer, Facebook, iPhone, TV, Nintendo Wii, etc..

My attempt at fixing my Time Wasters is to set aside 2 hours a day with no Technology. No computer, phone, TV… nothing but me with myself. Let’s see what I can come up with. The 2 hours starts now.

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Detour

Detour

Detour…

After looking at my room with no desk, I saw the filthiness of the walls. The walls actually looked like the walls in a frat house. If my room is going to be the home base for starting my Abundant Life, then that was going to have to change. If my living space is a reflection of my life, then I want it to be interesting. At 3pm Saturday afternoon I made the Executive Decision to repaint the whole damn thing.

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My First Objective: De Clutter

My First Objective: De Clutter

Time and Money are the first areas that need to be dealt with, but it would be better for me to start with Energy. She talks about Energy Drains, things in our life that we have to get done which we put off. Also, or physical space acts as an Energy Drain. Is it cluttered or is it organized? Your mind and your physical space are the same thing. A cluttered space relates to a cluttered mind. My physical space is cluttered, which leads to procrastination and laziness.

So my first task in creating my Abundant Life is to de-clutter my Living Space. Since I share a house, my bedroom is the first place I need to start. In my room there is an old desk that was here when I moved in. I wanted to get rid of it before I moved in, but never did. It takes up a lot of space and is ugly. I’ve been using it to store all kinds of junk, the junk that is my life. Well it’s time for that junk to go. It’s amazing the type of crap I have in there. Old Las Vegas Weekly’s that I never read, Matchbooks from the different clubs I’ve been to, 3 old iPod boxes, a cell phone that I had since 2002 and doesn’t even work, napkins from Subway (WTF?), the Sports Page from the Las Vegas Review Journal from May with nothing important on it, a granola bar I never opened, old copies of Men’s Health, A few old boarding passes, My Rose Bowl Ticket Holder (Hurray, I found It!), Business cards from clients who wanted to give me a job and never did, pens and note pads from the different conventions I like to visit here in Vegas just to get the free stuff… All kinds of junk, 2 trash bags worth.

After hauling the large bags of crap out of my room I looked at the desk to see if there was any other function it could serve, like if I painted it or only used the bottom half as a table. I found no reason to keep the desk and began to dismantle it, which was a bitch to take apart. Whoever designed this desk had no concept of ‘light construction.’ I didn’t go after the desk with a hammer; I just removed all the screws and let it fall apart.

When the desk was gone I felt the room totally open up. I see what Cheryl Richardson meant by de cluttering your living space to help clear your mind.  And it’s refreshing to throw that stuff away. It was like I was surrounding myself with unwanted useless junk and because of that all I was producing for my life was unwanted useless junk.

De-cluttering is Awesome!

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What Happened

What Happened

On Monday, Feb 15th, I went to put a deposit in the bank and found that my checking account had been over drafted with a remaining balance of -$297. “Not again,” I thought to myself. I thought something was wrong, like someone got a hold of my Check Card number and was using it at their leisure. After contacting the Bank on Tuesday I discovered that the overdraft was my Own Damn Fault. This is becoming a regular problem for me, Money mis-management. Obviously my job is a cash-only industry and doing regular banking is not something I engage in often, so my checking account is constantly being over drafted. I thought I finally got a handle on all of this back in December, but that was not the case. Something had to change… Fast!

I hired a Life-Coach back in September of 2009 to help me make my dreams come to fruition. He charged a lot and had lots of success with other people. I didn’t have the success others had attained, but then again I only put in half the effort. He was a Guru Type, all about Visualization, Meditation, and Morning Spiritual Ritual… very good stuff; and working with him I noticed my fears of money, relationships, family, etc… all drifted away. I also landed big-money clients that I actually got along with, visited some pretty cool places and even got to go to the Rose Bowl and watch my Buckeye’s Win! (It was the greatest day of my life). But while the big-fun-stuff was entering my life, the mechanics of my life were still being mis-managed and overlooked. Now I’m back to where I was in September and I’m ready to fix it, only this time doing it better.

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