Today I got a chance to watch the NCAA Championship game with a guy new to the business and I found myself in a position I’ve never been in before. We were at his place and he asked me for some advice. I have no problem giving advice to new guys, but what I found different about this time was that I no longer had anyone to go to for advice.
When I started a few years back I was the new Cute Guy. I was so lost and no idea how to manage in this business. I would make a large chunk of money in one night and by the time I got home the money was gone. I needed guidance and before long I met some older Guys who could help me: Greg, Tyler, Casey, Aaron and Chris. They were Role Models and anytime I needed help, or most importantly just someone to be with in this business of loneliness, I could rely on them to always be there. They were like my big brothers who were always looking out for me. Now they are all gone. They have moved on to bigger things (and they knew they hit the age limit and weren’t going to work for less money). I actually miss Aaron the most because he was my best friend in this business.
During my meditation today I focused on the time I spent with the new guy today and a feeling and Vision came into my head accompanied with a popping noise. The vision was of me walking down the hall of my High School during the last week of Classes my Senior Year. The feeling was warm and I felt so accomplished and confident. It occurred to me with that vision that it is time to graduate. I don’t want to be in this business to the bitter end of despair. Its time to leave while I still Love it.
I have to be the Role Model now as well. I was always the kid who needed guidance, but now the tables have turned, I have to be the person with their shit together and live my life as an example for others to follow. The thought of that gives me the same feeling I had walking down the hallway my Senior Year; and what a feeling it is.
More Deets to Follow, but for now know this: My Purpose is to be the Role Model.